watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize