I'm jealous of your bromance
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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