Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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