That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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