I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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