I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
