the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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