What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
