I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my phone needs a breathalizer
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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