You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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