going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
