He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
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