i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
