My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
