Whats the glycemic index on semen?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
