Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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