dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
