Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
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dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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