last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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