Moan for me like Helen Keller
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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