Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize