She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
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I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats