hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
