YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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