I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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