Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
