Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize