dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
