sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
