I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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