you have to choose: penises or morals?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
