He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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