He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
