ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
