Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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