Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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