I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
