let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
