wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
