By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
