im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
