Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Couch. On fire.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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