we have officially lost it.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
