I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
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Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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