the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
