i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
