My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
