At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
not ubering you a puppy
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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