so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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