i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Boobs are out for the taking
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize