I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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