saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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