My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
