hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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