Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
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It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
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He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.