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Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
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