"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together