i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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