I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize