I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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