I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?