so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he was CRYING into my vagina
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.