After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed