man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.