just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.